Evolution of personal communication (sure missing some milestones)
- Apes communicated in sign and sound language (which meant they were physically next to each other)
- Prehistoric humans followed the ape style
- Then developed language to communicate (during this time, physical presence was needed)
- Humans figured out remote communication through messengers (this obviously was possible after humans figured out travel)
- Humans figured out communication without travel, using birds and animals
- Then came mail (inter continent mail meant water travel which took ages, which was reduced to weeks thanks to air travel)
- Ignore Morse code and telegrams
- Humans then discovered telephone /landline and this went through many stages (point-to-point: go somewhere to call, set an appointment and then talk to the other person, home-to-home: rotary and digital)
- Then came email (on dial-up and then broadband)
- These stages show how physical distance became less of a barrier for communication and how communication lags reduced
- A two-way communication was once impossible, then took months and at this stage became minutes
- Somewhere in the early internet age came messengers — ICQ, AOL, Yahoo and MSN (I might be missing pre-ICQ messenger details, I didn’t use those)
- These tools meant, go online, leave offline messages, wait for someone and then chat
- Ignoring VM in landlines, then came ‘brick’ cell phones (call and talk anytime)
- Suddenly humans plunged into smartphones and apps
- This meant, messenger apps were available always 24×7
- Then came WhatsApp
WhatsApp addiction and borderline personality disorder: A new therapeutic challenge
My WhatsApp setup these days
- 5+ active groups for different reasons (sports, politics, neighborhood, friends) with 20+ people — which means there are always active messages
- 9am my getting ready busy team is 9pm someone’s free India time and is noon lunch free time for someone else — which means there are always active messages
- 1st phone use might be for work email, but app switching is simple, especially with unread notifications
- Looking at one group and not looking at others is almost impossible
My typical day these days
Wake up, pickup phone, check WhatsApp, respond (refer to A) while on bed (as per ScreenTime, last week, in 550 phone picks, I used WhatsApp as 1st app 150 times), brush teeth, check WhatsApp while brushing, drink morning coffee, get kid ready for school, all this while randomly responding to WhatsApp. Get in the car, drop kid, walk to bus stop and in the bus to work, check the phone (refer to C, D, B, A). Get to work, and throughout the day, have a browser with web.whatsapp open and respond throughout the day (refer to A). 9pm India friend is sleeping, but another friend group is talking about evening’s football game, so compelled to respond — human beings are social animals and always want to be present. Walk to café for lunch, or sit on the toilet, check the phone (refer to C, D, B, A). Oh btw, any of the WhatsApp moments can be replaced with Instagram or Twitter (luckily, I’m old for SnapChat). Call doctor, or make a haircut appointment, Google for number, call and then switch apps (refer to C, D, B, A). Done with work, head back home in bus, and till I start driving, keep switching among reading a book, listening to music, and refer to C, D, B, A. Head to the gym, while working-out, listen to music, and refer to C, D, B, A. Head home, have dinner, get back to work, which means web.whatsapp and again refer to C, D, B, A. At this point I am addicted, so while talking with wife and son, pickup phone, and repeat C, D, B, A.
As per Screen Time, I spent 6hrs on WhatsApp last week, this doesn’t count web.whatsapp I think
So, it’s time to change this pattern.
- No more web.whatsapp (though typing on computer is easier)
- I can’t change A, B and D; only thing to change other than not using WhatsApp is C
- Move the app to 2nd pane of screen, so break the app switching habit
- Turn-off badge icons, which means unless I open the app, I won’t know there are unread messages
- Since I can’t get out of some groups — practice to ignore all comms (unless tagged)
- Only open whatsapp specific times of the day 1) morning on bidet and 2) night as I work and use web.whatsapp)
- Let close friends and family know — for anything urgent, call or SMS; everything else will be in bursts (during the defined WhatsApp windows)
Will try this out for a month and figure out what needs to change…
